Campy Little Queen...

Campy Little Queen...

Picture it, if you will, 1964, Sicily... No, that's an opening line from another drama, I couldn't never dare attempt to copy. But let's try this again.

A few days back whilst on my lunch, in a lovely cafe, serving super lovely food, by super lovely looking waiters - one to be exact, upon which my eye was focused, I had an interesting thought.

Now let's not immediately let our minds wander directly to the gutter, but rather a rather fascinating place of self discovery - (I did say we would try stay out of the gutter).
After allowing myself a moment of visual dessert and letting my eye appreciate his wonder, I happened on noticing his body language.

One hand on hip, hip slightly cocked, the other hand - wrist flailing, posturing for the 'perfect' camp position, when I thought - Wow, he's a camp little queen. And then it dawned on me. Not in a rapturous, angels singing kinda way, but rather a 'hang on you little hyprocrite' let's be careful with what label's we're throwing about, we never know what may stick' kinda way. It lead me to think - Is this young man merely perpetuating a stereotype, or is it an identity he's been forced to adopt, by societal expectations in order to fit in.

Stereotypes - Self defined, or societally inflicted?

A stereotype, as defined by the Oracle, which is Wikipedia (yeah - we believe everything right?) is:

A popular belief about a group of individuals - Stereotypes are standardised and simplified conceptions of groups based on some prior assumptions.

So, if a stereotype is based on thoughts derived from previous assumptions, who is making these previous assumptions, and how is it being manifested or internalised?

We could all probably list a few stereotype examples right off the bat, if asked. Like, oh all white guys can't dance, and all black men are hung like donkeys - (leave the gutter people, leave the gutter)And for those of you, not in the know - A few popular gay stereotypes are exist, things like 'All gays love Kylie (well they should...), gay men are all effeminate, gay men are all promiscuous, gay men are all into beauty products (really, they should be) etc etc. The lists goes on, and in the end, it looks like all gay men listen to Kylie, whilst applying their product, before their 3rd date for the night, matching their glitter with their pearls.

Blah - Wrong.

But, it lead me to start thinking, and as the example of the lovely waiter suggested, that perhaps gay men have some how internalised these stereotypes, and perhaps unknowingly (or knowingly) have purposely started perpetuating them for a greater ease in their lives. Was this young man a campy little queen, or was he merely acting like one because it felt comfortable, and easy in a 'camp surrounding?'

The wheels in my brain just kept on a ticking.... tick tick tick tick tick - pay bill, leave, be late back to work.

Are stereotypes real? - This depends on how we are interpreting 'real' - real as in do they exist? Yes, they do. Are they correct - not necessarily.

As a young gay man, as much as I may not like to admit this - I do fall into some pretty broad gay stereotypical terms

I am: 'into beauty products - gotta pay the bills honey'

A Kylie. Madonna. And Gaga fan - Jesus, the mind fight is still on going, onto who is queen

A lil bit sassy/bitchy when I gotta be - Yes I fully acknowledge this one, dear friends that are reading/laughing/smirking.

Effeminate - when I switch it on, and turn the 'camp dial' from 'Off  - OMG, can you say QUEEEEN'

But as much as I admit to these, the vast majority of strangers fail to recognise my homosexuality immediately (stop laughing friends) - which then leads to start thinking, so I'm 'straight acting'- But why am I 'straight acting' - is it because I don't want to be judged and its easier to 'blend in'?

I do feel like I have a tendency to ask alot of questions? LOL

So as a gay collective, have we internalised stereotypical thinking because it's been put out there by 'straight society' which controls the media etc, or are these stereotypes around because they're true, and we've made them a part of who we are - perhaps a self defence mechanism?

Its a very difficult question to answer - and I'm not sure if I am at a definitive place on this one yet?

Speaking to friends/colleagues/family, the general consensus seems to be that we hate stereotypes, but that they are very easily being perpetuated and continued. This is for a variety of factors - acceptance, acting, misunderstanding, poor choices etc. But on the whole, there seems to be a negative connotation with stereotypical living - but perhaps that in its own right is a stereotypical thought process by a group of people struggling with self identity?

Was it fair to label this young man a campy little queen? Probably not.

Do I still think he is a queen - absolutely.

Is this wrong? - Most definitely.

Does it change my thought process? - No.

Can I answer this broader thought process? Not right now.

What are your thoughts?

What I am however, trying to do is to limit the way I accept stereotypes and to look further and perhaps deeper at an individual to understand who they really are.

Sure as hell, does make people watching fascinating.

Leave me thoughts/comments/etc on this matter.

I'd love to know what you think?

New Stereotype: Craig is pretty damn fabulous, but asks to many questions and has too few answers :)

Family

Well howdy doodle kids!

I've been away, on a somewhat super fabulous vacation to the US, where I partied the hours away with my gorgeous husband, and a fabulous group of friends, surrounded by a sea of super hot muscley gays, as the picture above shows. (and yes I was the paparazzi perve taking the photo)

Partying on the beach, in glorious weather, sun shining down, great music playing, and an open bar certainly stacked up for a recipe of glorious fun, fun fun! The event was called 'Muscle Beach' and it certainly was exactly that... I was surrounded by the most muscley gay men I have ever seen in one spot, making it the gayest and possibly hottest event ever...

Think loads of good looking, muscled, bronzed gays partying it up to 'sickening' good grooves, all the while having the gorgeous ocean behind you. It was.... HAWWT!!
Super Hawt!

Whilst I was watching the sea of muscle, groove and grind to the music, and besides perving my little gay eye balls out, I started thinking about how hedonistic gay boys are (myself included - I won't dare to try not wear that badge), how we love a good party, half naked flesh and free booze - did someone say awesomeness?
Well yes, it was awesome - but was there something we were missing...

Gay's are renowned for having good parties and 'banding' together to get their groove on. We can shake it like our momma's made it, and gurl - we do... but I kept thinking -

If only we could come together like we do at parties, on the big issues? Gay Marriage, gay rights, adoption, legislation and equality. And... yes, before you jump on the, 'let's pound Craig' with examples bandwagon, of how there are groups of gays that do band together, I'm looking at this for a much bigger picture.

Gays - let's be honest with ourselves. We could and definitely need to be able to come together and focus on changing our worlds for the better - together.

And let's bloody hell make it a good party kids - We can do anything!!!

After all - WE ARE FAMILY.... ALL MY SISTERS AND ME.... WE ARE FAMILY....

What are your thoughts?

Grateful...

After leaving work after a long, but productive day, I was waiting for my bus home at my local bus stop, when the universe decided to teach me a lesson and remind me of something very important.

Usually, I'm pretty unobservant, except if there is a hot man nearby - and feeling tired and carrying loads of shopping bags, the thought of a comfy bus seat is usually the only thing on my mind at the time, but today I noticed something. A middle aged homeless man was standing a few metres away from me, next to a public refuse bin.

He began to dig through the bin, pulling out bags, food cartons and other goods, creating a small pile on the sidewalk next to him. He then proceeded to go through each item and examine it for any worth or use. It was fascinating to observe. He found some discarded food, which he bagged, and then a half full carton of Coca Cola from McDonald's, which someone had obviously not wanted to finish and thrown in the bin.

What he did next fascinated me. He reached into his bag and pulled out one empty plastic coke bottle and another that was half full. After carefully examining to see if the contents were safe, he proceeded to fill both bottles as much as possible and bagged them back up in his little bag, which probably contained all of his earthly possessions.

I was fascinated by this for a few reasons -
1. He had the foresight and ingenuity to carry around empty plastic bottles to ensure that he could make the most of any 'opportunity' he found.
2. He found something of value to him, in let's be honest is everyone elses crap. Something most of us wouldn't even look at twice.
3. After examining most of the bins contents, finding what he could eat/store or use - he cleaned it all up again and left the side walk looking meticulous. How many non homeless, wealthy, privileges people would have done the same? Littering seems to be pretty common these days.

Here was a man, who clearly had little to nothing, who was doing everything he could to make the most of his existence, at that very second, yet he had the decency to clean up his mess, so as to not leave an unsightly mess for the very people, who probably look down at him on a daily basis, thinking him to be nothing more than a dirty, homeless bum.

That little observation humbled me immensely and spoke to my heart to truly be grateful for everything I have in this life.

My life may be at times shitty, I may feel like the world is against me, or I may be having a 'bad day'.
But in that moment - I was reminded of how lucky, blessed and happy my life really is.

I challenge you to live your life being grateful and knowing what is important.

Life is too short to fuck it up and lose sight of what matters.
Simple.

Should I have done something for that man - probably. Do I feel guilty for not doing more - Yes.
Am I grateful for what I have
Abso-bloody-lutely!