Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Let me begin by saying that as dramatic as the title of this post & picture looks and sounds - I am ok.
There's a really wonderful quote from my infatuation, aka Mr. Tom Ford that goes something like this - 'A few times in my life I’ve had moments of clarity, where the silence drowns out the noise, and I can feel rather than think.” It is in these moments that you know exactly what you want and where you are meant to be going in life. You feel what is right, and ignore the distracting thoughts that can cloud your journey. I have experienced moments like this in my past, and right now I am in desperate need of another.
Life is difficult, distracting, and unpredictable. One day everything makes sense, and the next it seems to be in turmoil - or is this only in my mad little world? Please say it isnt so. And yes, I am an absolute little drama queen and I fully aknowledge this, but sometimes its just a little too confusing even in my own head.
The bigger problem stems down to a lack of passion. A lack of something in my life that makes me go 'fuck yeah' and leaves me feeling fulfilled, content and of worth. For many years in the past, I have ignored the little voice in my head telling me what I should be doing. The little voice of your soul that gently guides you in your decision making and ultimately tries to deliver you to your happiness. Rationale has overtaken the heart. The mind has conquered the soul, and I have learnt much from these mistakes. I claim them and embrace them.
I have a broad sense of a goal now. I know what I would like to do this year, what will begin to make me feel happier and give me a greater sense of self identity. I am trully grateful for this as in years gone by that has been my biggest challenge.
Now it seems, it is the journey of how I get there that will prove to be the challenge.
I think Mr Ford got it right when he spoke of the noise of life. The hum drum of every day living which is incredibly distracting and ultimately distracting from your overall happiness. You know what I mean - the every day shit that over takes you and overwhelms you lest you be fully aware of it and keep it at bay.
Every day living is unavoidable. The bills have got to be paid, people have got to be seen, and you have got to get on with it.
The question is how do we work towards our happiness whilst completing the 'every day stuff'. How do we keep the fire of passion burning whilst making sure not to lose yourself in your own being.
Overthinking, and under feeling. This has been my biggest mistake of late.
Taking a leap of faith, is I feel soon needed.
Thank you for reading my ramblings - this is healing for the soul.
I wish you much happiness and healing too in your journey!
Leave your comments/thoughts :)